DemocratandChronicle.com - Tuesday, January 29, 2002

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Snow kidding: Snowball toss in Olympics?

By Bob Matthews
Democrat and Chronicle

(Tuesday, January 29, 2002) -- As we prepare for the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, I humbly present my periodic suggestion to replace the biathlon with good old-fashioned snowball throwing.

The biathlon combines cross-country skiing and rifle shooting. While being a top-flight biathlete undoubtedly requires skill and endurance, I know there aren't many of them (do you know any?).

And I wonder why anything involving a rifle is included in a competition devoted to fostering peace and good will.

There are infinitely more snowball throwers than biathletes. In fact, how many of us have not thrown snowballs?

I know most people think the concept of snowball throwing as an Olympic sport is ridiculous.

But why?

Pumped-up athletes heave the shot and throw the hammer in the Summer Olympics, so why shouldn't ordinary-sized people throw snowballs in the Winter Olympics?

The possibilities for competitive snowball throwing are endless.

For distance. Short range or long range.

For accuracy. Stationary or moving targets.

The snowballs used in competition would come from a common source and would be packed in molds to assure they'd be the same size and weight.

Imagine how popular the sport would be. Nearly everyone who grew up in a climate with snow has experience throwing snowballs and could dream of winning a medal.

It would attract people from all social classes from every country that has snow.

And it would be cheap. Snow is free. That's a rarity these days. You could practice by throwing at trees. No costly special equipment would be required.

Imagine what hosting state and national snowball-throwing competitions could mean to the economies of enterprising communities.

This idea could snowball.

I can't see a downside to making snowball throwing an Olympic sport.

What do you think?

Thirty-eight years ago, Cassius Clay shocked the boxing world by winning the heavyweight championship from Sonny Liston.

Today, the Nevada State Athletic Commission could shock the world by denying Mike Tyson a license for his scheduled heavyweight title fight against champion Lennox Lewis in Las Vegas April 6.

Don't count on it happening.

Dogs that make a habit of biting people often are put to sleep. Chronic biter Tyson apparently is eligible for more glory and riches. He has the routine down pat. The more bizarre and perverse his act, the more he is worth to the leeches who suck up to him and fans eager to pay to watch him.

Tyson might not be mentally fit to hold down many jobs, but he probably will be judged fit to fight Lewis and pump $100 million of fresh money into the casinos.

Tyson is a disgusting person -- his defenders have all but disappeared -- and it would be a disgusting day if Nevada officials decide to put money ahead of decency.

Boxing always has been a seedy business and Tyson is the all-time embarrassing champion. Las Vegas always has embraced him as a money magnet and that doesn't figure to change today.

If the New England Patriots defeat the 14-point favored St. Louis Rams Sunday, it would be the most shocking N FL championship upset since the 171/2 point underdog Baltimore Colts lost to the New York Jets in Super Bowl III.

The main reason that probably won't happen is that Drew Bledsoe or Tom Brady (does it really matter who'll be starting?) are not Joe Namath. They're not going to guarantee a victory because they don't have the talent to back it up.

If both teams play average games, the Rams should win easily.

Win or lose Super Bowl XXXVI, this is a good time to be a Boston sports fan. The NHL Bruins and NBA Celtics are playing surprisingly well and on the way to the playoffs and the Red Sox appear improved and could challenge the New York Yankees in the American League East.

The only NFL team to log nearly as many passing yards as the St. Louis Rams (1999-2000-2001) over a three-season span was Don Coryell's San Diego Chargers (featuring QB Dan Fouts):

1983 -- 4,662 net yards passing; 6-10 record

1984 -- 4,643 net yards passing; 7-9 record

1985 -- 4,870 net yards passing; 8-8 record.

TOTALS -- 14,175 net yards passing; 21-27 record

Here is how the Rams have fared:

1999 -- 4,353 net yards passing; 13-3 record

2000 -- 5,232 net yards passing; 10-6 record

2001 -- 4,663 net yards passing; 14-2 record

TOTALS -- 14,248 net yards passing; 37-11 record

The big differences: The Rams played better defense (except in 2000) and had Marshall Faulk running the ball to keep opposing defenses honest (and he isn't too shabby catching it).

For the record, here's how the K-Gun Buffalo Bills fared in their best three-year span throwing the ball:

1991 -- 3,871 net yards passing; 13-3 record

1992 3,457 net yards passing; 11-5 record

1993 3,317 net yards passing; 12-4 record

TOTALS -- 10,645 net yards passing; 36-12 record

And Dan Marino's Miami Dolphins had 13,911 net yards passing and a 34-14 record from 1984-85-86.

2001 Female Athlete of the Year Jennifer Capriati has an early lead on the field again this year after her courageous victory in 95-degree heat over Martina Hingis in the Australian Open. Women's tennis currently is loaded with top-notch players and that makes Capriati's achievements all the more impressive. She might even outpoll the gold medalist skaters and skiers in an Olympic year.

Cuba has put in a bid to host the 2012 Summer Olympics. It's a pretty safe guess that the Games will be conducted somewhere else.

I presume the Buffalo Sabres and Rochester Americans won't be getting together to conduct clinics on proper execution of the power play. The Amerks continue to rank last in the 27-team AHL with a 9.0 power-play percentage (19-for-212) and the Sabres rank 28th in the 30-team NHL with a 12.3 percentage (31-for-251).

Encouraging note for Buffalo Bills fans: The AFC East rival Miami Dolphins must trim $16.5 million by March 1 to get below the projected 2002 NFL salary cap of roughly $72 million.

Sensitive to criticism of the 197 errors by the Rochester Red Wings last season, Baltimore player development director Don Buford contends that the condition of Frontier Field's playing field had a lot to do with it. The numbers back him up.

Here is the errors breakdown from last season:

At Frontier Field -- Red Wings 110, opponents 72.

On the road -- Red Wings 87, opponents 48.

TOTALS -- Red Wings 197 errors and opponents 130 errors; 182 errors at Frontier Field and 135 errors in other stadiums.

Obviously, playing three sports (baseball, soccer and lacrosse) takes a toll on the condition of Frontier Field despite diligent work by the grounds crew. But the Wings also made significantly more errors than the opposition home and away.

The bottom line: The 2001 Red Wings were a lousy team defensively by Triple-A standards but would've made fewer errors had they not played half of their games at Frontier.

And it's more proof that Frontier Field's grass field is not up to being the home to teams in three different sports and staging up to 90 games per summer.

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